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rlmjob:

bestlittle1:

rlmjob:

*puts on sexy underwear but accepts the fact that no one will see it*

But knowing daddy bought them is good enough for me.

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(via stability)

sherrocked:

My little sister is a really pretty girl and she gets dick pics all the time from annoying boys, so being the girl she is, she started using them as blackmail.
She now has about 30 boys doing her bidding because one stepped out of line and she got someone to print out 500 copies of the photo and mailed it to his family.

My sister is 16 and she’s running a black mail Mafia.
She’s going places.

(Source: amovible, via mapleslattes)

So excited I enrolled in night classes. What could go wrong?

mikeyisacunt:

bent-duck:

sylvia-socioplath:

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christ

girl on the left is physically repelled from him

(via stability)

condorn:

tinychatter:

condorn:

sorry i cant hear you over my freedom(:

sorry i cant hear you over my free health care(:

if you cant hear guess there’s a problem with that healthcare

(Source: condom, via stability)

bikinipowerbottom:

"She’s really pretty for a black girl"

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“He’s really cool for a gay guy”

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“She’s doing really well for a woman”

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(via pastaparcel)

Anonymous asked: tell us your most embarrassing story


Answer:

jesusinc:

jesusinc:

So a while back i was at this party and i was the first girl to arrive and there were like 20 guys already there, we were all siting around, having a beer and whatnot when the dj arrived. So all the guys went out the front of the house to help set up the dj gear and it was just me sitting there alone in the backyard for like 5 minuets. I stood up to go follow them bc i was getting really bored when i realized something, my period had gone through my white pants and stained the while chair, i was humiliated, i had no idea what to do, i could hear the guys were coming back and i had to do something quick, time was running out. So i grabbed the chair, ran like 10 meters and threw it over the fence into the neighboring yard, i quickly walked back and tied my jacket around my waist. The guys soon returned and didn’t suspect a thing, i am amazing.

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broken-gaydar:

starrygraveyard:

andr3wdost:

nathanieljosephruess:

herfunnyvideos:

lockedinabirdcage:

GUYS I JUST REALIZED WHY PAPER BEATS ROCK OH MY GOD

PAPER SYMBOLIZES WORDS WHICH SYMBOLIZES BRAINS

AND ROCK SYMBOLIZES BRAWN.

BRAINS OVER BRAWN.

MIND OVER MATTER.

PAPER OVER ROCK.

You clever little shit.

then what the fuck does scissors mean

lesbians

what

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(via stability)

It feels like nothing is even worth it.

thepartyposse:

kohwala:

do celebrities even snapchat?

there has to be beyoncé rocking the quadruple chin out there somewhere 

(via leo-thelioness)

bones-and-bricks:

daftpostpunk:

did Jesus pay for our sins with cash or credit

he used praypal

(via leo-thelioness)

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